Advice Letter: I Fell In Love With A Swinger…

Dear Miss Dimplez,
Seven months ago I met a really wonderful man. He was kind, understanding, and a great communicator. He shared my love of the outdoors and accepted me for who I am. This was particularly important to me because I have a high sex drive and have had relationships where my lover just wasn’t up to it. Now I seem to be punished for who I am. The wonderful man I fell in love with, after seven months of monogamous dating, announced he wanted not only group play but actually to have an open relationship. He wants to date others and be free to see ex-girlfriends. Already he has thrown a party to which I was not invited, so he could have sex with an ex. He said the greatest gift a lover could give is to be absent and allow their lover to be with someone else. Right now he is seeing an ex who is visiting town. Another ex comes to town soon, and a lover from overseas is due next month. At the same time he’s caught up with an old girlfriend and is organizing a date with a new girl he met two months ago. He says when he sleeps with another it makes him want to come back to me all the more. He says an open relationship is a loving one and our capacity for love is endless. I feel he is manipulating me. He lied to get me interested and now wants me to approve his seedy lifestyle. Am I right? Or is it possible, if I had a different attitude, I could really enjoy this like he says?

Sincerely,
Girl Who Fell In Love With A Swinger

Photographer: Jai Lovehall Model: Ashley

Dear Girl Who Fell In Love With A Swinger,

If he had told you upfront that he wanted you to be part of his harem, you would have run. This does not sound like a cultural/religious facet, but more like a ‘commitment’ issue. Don’t compromise yourself in efforts to hold on to a man who has a distorted sense of love. He was nice to you in the beginning, buttered you up, got you emotionally involved and then switched the relationship style. He was hoping to get you to stay through all his antics. It is obvious to me that he lacks regard of your feelings, because he’s already out there swinging from woman to woman, and told you after the fact. Do yourself a favor and leave. Sticking around will only bring emotional heartache. He will always be on the prowl for women to add to his roster, and you will always be worried about it. You mind will never be at ease because you will always wonder about who and what he’s doing and where. That’s pain you shouldn’t voluntarily put yourself through. Not only that, but with all the diseases and virus that’s out there, staying with him could be detrimental to your health. Tell him you’re leaving and leave. No false promises or ultimatums. If he can’t be satisfied with just you, then he doesn’t deserve you.